Women Hold Families Together Through Kinkeeping

A 2023 study in the journal Sex Roles looks at how families stay connected over time, especially after divorce or remarriage. It focuses on a behind-the-scenes role called kinkeeping, which is the work of keeping family members in touch, organizing gatherings, and maintaining emotional ties. The kin-keeper is the person who remembers birthdays, shares family updates, and makes sure everyone still feels like part of the family.

Using survey data from the Netherlands, the researchers found that women—especially mothers and stepmothers—are usually the ones doing this kind of emotional and relational work. Even when families become more complex, like after divorce or when a stepparent joins the family, it is still mostly women who take on this role.

The study also found that this kind of work really matters. When someone is actively kinkeeping, family relationships tend to be stronger, especially between parents and adult children. Stepmothers, in particular, often help maintain ties between children and their biological fathers.

In short, even in modern, changing families, the emotional glue that holds people together still tends to be provided by women. The study highlights how important, yet often invisible, this role is in keeping families close.